Building a family through foster care looks different for everyone. That includes LGBTQA+ adults and LGBTQA+ youth in foster care. Maybe you want to become a foster parent. Maybe you are a young person who wants a loving home.Either way, there are things worth knowing before you start. No federal law bans LGBTQA+ people from fostering or adopting, but the details still matter. Here’s what LGBTQA+ families should know, starting with the most important part: can you do this, and how.
Can You Become a Foster Parent?
More people are eligible to become foster parents than you might think. Most states accept single adults. They accept married couples. They accept unmarried couples too. No federal law stops LGBTQA+ people from fostering or adopting. You will need a criminal background check. You will need to finish state training classes.
You will also need to complete a home study. This includes interviews, a visit to your home, and calls to your references. The process is the same for LGBTQA+ people and other applicants. But some states let agencies turn away LGBTQA+ parents for religious reasons.
Ask about this process before you choose an agency.
Know Your State’s Laws
Foster care laws for LGBTQA+ parents are different in every state. Many states have laws that protect LGBTQA+ parents from discrimination. Other states allow some agencies to turn away LGBTQ+ parents based on religious beliefs. Family Equality tracks these laws by state.
Talk with an adoption attorney for in-depth questions, they can explain your state’s laws and any protections you have.
Finding an LGBTQ-Friendly Agency
Not every adoption agency has worked with LGBTQA+ families before, and foster care agencies vary a lot in their experience. If you’re interested in a public or private agency, ask questions before you sign up. Ask for their policy in writing. It should say they won’t discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Ask to talk with LGBTQA+ parents who have used the agency before. Ask how staff are trained to support LGBTQA+ youth. Some organizations, like the Human Rights Campaign, list agencies trained in LGBTQA+ inclusion. That’s a good place to start when you research agencies near you. Most agencies list a phone number or email you can contact directly with questions.
Public vs. Private Adoption
Most kids adopted from foster care go through the public child welfare system. This means you work with a state or county agency. This path usually costs little or nothing. That’s because public agencies get funding to find homes for the kids already in their care. Private agencies also place foster kids. Some work under contract with the state. They often give more one-on-one support.
Both paths welcome potential foster parents who meet state requirements, and agencies are always looking for qualified families ready to open their homes. Private infant adoption is a different process. It often costs $30,000 to $60,000. International adoption is not a real option for kids in the U.S. foster care system. Many countries also have laws that block LGBTQA+ people from adopting.
The Need for LGBTQ Foster Families
Foster care is one of the most common ways to adopt a child. It is also the cheapest way, in most cases. More than 328,000 children are in foster care right now, and many children are simply waiting for a supportive family. Over 70,000 of them have a plan to be adopted. This comes from the latest federal data. LGBTQA+ youth make up a much bigger share of foster care than they do of young people overall.
Close to one third of foster youth identify as part of the LGBTQA+ community, according to the Human Rights Campaign. This often happens because families reject kids over their gender identity or who they love. Gay people, lesbian people, and other LGBTQA+ adults who want to adopt face unique challenges too, from agency bias to unclear state laws. Still, research from the Williams Institute shows LGBTQA+ adults are more likely to adopt than non-LGBTQ+ adults.
Getting Your Home Ready
Get your home ready before a child arrives. A child may need a bed, clothes, and school supplies fast. Learn trauma-informed foster parenting skills. These help you support kids who have faced neglect or a hard past.
Build simple routines for when a child arrives and when a child leaves. Routines help kids feel safe. Many foster children have been through trauma. A calm, steady, nurturing home makes a big difference in their daily life.
What Happens Between Placement and Adoption
Adoption can happen once a court ends the birth parents’ legal rights. Each state has its own timeline for this step. Federal law sets goals for how fast this should move. This comes from a law called the Adoption and Safe Families Act.
Stay in close touch with your child’s caseworker during this time.
Expect visits and court check-ins before a judge finalizes the adoption.
Same-sex couples may also need a second-parent adoption. This makes sure both parents have full legal rights to the child. Talk to an adoption attorney about this early on.
Working With Your Caseworker
A good relationship with your caseworker helps a lot. Social workers can guide you through tough moments too. Ask for your placement preferences in writing. This keeps things clear for everyone. Keep a simple log of your talks with the adoption agency. Write down the date and what was said. This can help later if questions come up.
Supporting LGBTQA+ Youth and Kids With Special Needs
Many kids available for adoption from foster care are older youth. Some have medical, behavioral, or emotional special needs. Ask agencies what training they offer for special needs care. Start planning for school and therapy support early. Many kids need both. LGBTQA+ parents are often a great fit for LGBTQA+ youth. These parents can offer a home where a child feels safe talking about their gender identity or sexuality.
Sibling Groups and Local Support
Foster care adoption often involves brothers and sisters together. Keeping siblings together is usually a top goal, when it’s possible. Look for local community resources near you, including family services agencies that support foster families. This can include school counseling, respite care, and support groups. Look for groups made just for LGBTQA+ parents and youth too. Friends, extended family, and other LGBTQA+ parents can support you along the way.
What It Costs (and What Helps)
Foster parents usually get a monthly stipend. This money helps cover the cost of caring for a child. The amount depends on your state and the child’s needs. Foster children are usually covered by Medicaid. Many kids adopted from foster care also qualify for a subsidy after adoption. This continues some financial support. There is also a federal adoption tax credit. For adoptions finalized in 2025, families could claim up to $17,280 per child. This amount goes up a little each year for inflation. Part of it can now be paid back to you, even if you owe little in taxes.
After the Adoption Is Final
Adoption doesn’t end once the papers are signed. Find local mental health services that understand adoption and trauma. Make a post-adoption support plan with your agency, if you can, before you finalize. Join a peer network for LGBTQA+ parents. These groups give you people to call when questions come up. That might be about your child’s identity, school, or just a hard day.
Getting Involved in Advocacy
Advocacy organizations across the country work on foster care laws and reform. Many of them welcome new voices, including foster and adoptive parents, and encourage LGBTQA+ families to get involved. If an agency treats you unfairly, most states let you report it. You can report it through the state child welfare system. Supporting fair foster care policies helps the whole system, and many LGBTQA+ families choose to pursue advocacy work themselves once their adoption is final. It helps LGBTQA+ youth, LGBTQA+ parents, and every young person waiting for a loving home.
Checklists to Get You Started
Home study document checklist
Government-issued ID and proof of income
Criminal background check results
Health screening or a note from your doctor
Personal references (usually 3)
Marriage certificate or proof of relationship status, if this applies to you
Proof of home or renter’s insurance
Questions for your pre-placement interview
What training do staff get on gender identity and sexual orientation?
Can I see your policy against discrimination, in writing?
How do you support LGBTQA+ youth already in your program?
What does support look like after adoption?
Sample email to send to an agency
Not sure how to bring this up with an agency? Copy this email, fill in the blanks, and send it as a first contact. It gets the important questions on the table right away.
Subject: Question About LGBTQA+ Inclusive Foster Care Services
Hi [Agency Name],
My [spouse/partner and I / family] want(s) to become foster parents. We hope to adopt from foster care one day. Could you share your policy against discrimination? Could you also share what training your staff get on gender identity and sexual orientation? We’d love to connect with other same sex/LGBTQA+/nonbinary/etc. parents already in your program, if that’s possible.
Thank you, [Name]
Where to Go From Here
There’s no single right way to build a family through foster care, and no perfect time to start. Every LGBTQA+ family who fosters or adopts brings a child one step closer to a stable, loving home. Have questions ready for your first conversation with an agency, ask about your state’s laws, and lean on other LGBTQA+ parents who’ve already done this.
