Helping Foster Kids Cope with Holiday Stress and Loneliness

The holidays can be especially tough for children in foster care, as they may face feelings of loss, separation from siblings, or uncertainty about family traditions. For foster parents, understanding and learning to handle holiday stress for kids in foster care can make all the difference. 

By recognizing the signs of distress and offering support, caregivers can help foster children work through the difficulties during an overwhelming holiday season.

First, What Does Holiday Stress Look Like for Kids and Teens?

Signs of distress and other emotional challenges may not always be obvious, but with 1 in every 4 children overall experiencing trauma before the age of 16, it’s important to recognize the signs. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network notes that “The way that traumatic stress appears will vary from child to child and will depend on the child’s age and developmental level.”

For younger children, this might look like

• Increased clinginess or separation anxiety
• Trouble sleeping or nightmares
• Regressive behaviors (thumb-sucking, bed-wetting)
• Irritability and mood swings
• Withdrawing from friends or family
• Decline in school performance

For older kids and teenagers, this might look like

• Increased irritability or anger
• Withdrawing from family or friends
• Trouble concentrating or drop in grades
• Changes in sleep patterns
• Risky behaviors or acting out
• Loss of appetite
• Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy

It’s important to pay attention to shifts in behavior, as these could be signs of underlying stress or anxiety.

Supporting Foster Children and Foster Teens During the Holiday Season

Here are simple ways to help ease those feelings and make the season a bit brighter for the children in your care:

Recognize Their Feelings

It’s normal for foster kids to feel stressed, sad, or even angry around the holidays. Many may be thinking about family traditions they’ll be missing this year, or past holidays with their birth family, which can bring up painful memories. 

Acknowledging the way they feel can be incredibly validating. Experts from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network recommend acknowledging these feelings. They note that simply letting kids know it’s okay to feel sad or miss their family can help them feel understood and more comfortable in expressing their emotions.

Keep Routines Consistent

Holidays can disrupt everyday routines, which may increase anxiety for foster kids. Keeping a stable daily routine, like regular mealtimes and bedtimes, provides a sense of security. Routines help kids feel safe, which is especially important for children who have experienced instability. This doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate or have fun; just try to keep daily routines in place.

Create New Family Traditions

Introducing new holiday traditions helps foster kids feel like part of the family. Maybe it’s watching a holiday movie, baking cookies, or making crafts. You could even ask if they’d like to bring in any traditions from their birth family. 

Combining new and old traditions can help children feel like they belong, and can reduce feelings of isolation or sadness.

Alternatively, Encourage Time Alone or Quiet if They Need It

Some kids might feel overwhelmed by holiday activities and need a break. Provide a quiet space where they can retreat if things feel too much. This could be a reading corner, a comfy chair, or even a spot where they can just listen to music. Creating this personal space allows them to manage their emotions in a healthy way, which is crucial when they’re feeling holiday stress.

Offer Creative Outlets for Self-Expression

Encouraging foster kids to express themselves through drawing, journaling, or other creative activities can help them work through difficult emotions. Research from the University of Houston suggests that creative activities can be therapeutic for kids who struggle to communicate their feelings. This can also be an opportunity for them to create something meaningful, like a scrapbook or photo collage, which they can look back on as a positive holiday memory.

Foster Love Holiday Cards and Holiday Boxes

Another simple but impactful gesture to help with holiday stress for kids in foster care  is giving a child a Foster Love Holiday Box. These are Sweet Cases with added holiday touchest like a stocking and foster care holiday card designed to let kids know they’re valued. The cards include heartfelt messages and personal touches, helping foster kids feel special and recognized during a season when many feel isolated. Receiving a card can lift their spirits and serve as a lasting reminder that they’re cared for.

Help make a child feel loved and valued during the holiday season by sponsoring a Foster Love Holiday Box!

Reassure Them of Stability

Foster children often worry about their future and where they’ll be next year. While you may not have all the answers, reassure them that they’re a valued part of your home and family. This reassurance can ease some of the holiday stress by helping them feel secure in the present, even if their future is uncertain. 

Keep Communication Open and Positive

Finally, letting them know you’re always there to talk is essential. Remind them that they’re welcome to share their feelings or ask questions. Open communication helps build trust, which can lessen holiday stress and make them feel more comfortable. 

Even if they don’t open up right away, knowing they can talk to you may help them feel more at ease as the holiday season unfolds.

By offering support, understanding, and a sense of belonging, you can help ease holiday stress for kids in foster care. These small steps can make the holidays a time of comfort and warmth, even in a challenging new environment.

For more on handling trauma during the holidays, check out: 6 Tips for Being Mindful of Trauma During the Holidays from licensed clinical social worker Maurissa Szilagi.