For the LGBT, adoption, even through foster care can be difficult. One of the constants in the foster journey is change. A lot can happen from one day to another and as a foster parent, you have to be prepared for that. For Ariel McCaffrey Rose and her wife, the decision to become foster parents happened within days. After one of their friends approached them and told them that 2 of their family members were in danger of being put in the system, the couple knew they had to act fast. Thankfully, we live in a country that embraces LGBT adoption and fostering. They received their emergency license and prepared their home within weeks. Although the 2 children didn’t end up needing placement, the couple knew they had the capability and motivation to become foster parents.
The First Placement
Just a few weeks after almost having their first placement they received a call notifying them that 2 brothers, 2 and 3 years old, needed placement. Without hesitation, the couple agreed to take them in. Four short hours after the call, Ariel and her partner arrived to pick up the siblings.
As soon as they picked up the older brother he was full of laughter and giggles. The younger brother, on the other hand, was terrified and confused. Though both boys had different reactions the couple had the same one. In their training, they learned that getting too attached too soon can be very difficult, but that didn’t let them stop. They instantly fell in love with the boys and knew almost immediately that they wanted to pursue adoption.
Officially Becoming Parents
On December 8, 2017, just 2 years after their initial placement the adoption became official. The family finally lived in peace knowing that the boys couldn’t be taken away. Shortly after the adoption, Ariel and her partner received a call to take in a newborn girl suffering from withdrawal. At only 9 hours old, the couple knew she would be fragile, but they decided to take her in as a placement.
After another 2 years, they also had the opportunity to pursue adoption. On January 1, 2019, they made the adoption official and now the family grew to 5! The couple agreed that neither of the adoption processes were easy. There were different obstacles they had to overcome for each adoption. For instance, the boys were older and understood more of what was going on compared to their younger daughter. Therefore, the boys struggled a little to adjust to their new lives. But the couple knew they didn’t want them to feel alone so they therapy. It helped the kids overcome any difficulties of going through the foster/adoption process.
Welcome Advice
Ariel has a main piece of advice: jump in and let the kids know they are loved. Being their biggest supporter is important. Many kids in the foster system don’t know what an actual support system looks like. They need their foster parents to fight for them. Every child comes from a different background, so each one needs different types of attention. Get to know your foster kids because even a simple conversation can help them in ways you couldn’t even imagine.
In Conclusion
In conclusion, we want to thank Ariel for sharing her family’s story with us. It is important for LBGT adoptions and families to be seen and heard. Families are made up of love not biology.
For those interested in adopting, check out our adoption calculator HERE to find out the cost by adoption type and state.
