Single parent adoption is possible through foster care! Many single individuals are looking to start their families but may not know that adoption is an option for them. Today Foster Love – Together We Rise speaks with Ramos about his single parent adoption journey.
Starting as a Foster Parent
In March of 2016, Ramos began his adoption journey. At first, he pursued a license for adoption-only but after not having much success with the selection process he moved to become dual certified.
A Long Time Coming
Ramos fostered his son for 2 years and 7 months before things became court official. The pandemic impacted the finalization but thankfully they held the hearing via Zoom. Ramos recounts,
Though I would have loved to finalize it in court, I’m glad we did it via Zoom. As many, many more people were able to attend and witness our special moment. We had a large number of people supporting us from all over Texas. This was a great way to share the celebration. The judge and team did a great job of making our adoption very personable. Allowing us to speak and share our thoughts with those who were present, making it even more special.
On August 14th, 2020 Ramos and his son legally became family.
Opening Hearts
Children in foster care often have problems trusting adults. This seems logical based on their experience with adults in the past. Ramos shares with us about his son’s growth,
The best experience for me was, watching my child become so vulnerable and open-hearted allowing me to be there for him and be his comfort. Those moments allowed us to bond deeply and at a higher level of trust. Children in foster care are often very defensive and used to fight or flight situations. Seeing how vulnerable and trusting they can be, shows huge growth and healing.
Being Better
This adoption has done more for Ramos than give him a son. It has allowed him to become a better human. He tells us,
I’ve become much more patient, loving, caring. I’ve learned to let go of so many nonessential thoughts and situations. I’ve seen what great abilities and limits I have. To be completely selfless for someone else takes a lot of courage and trust in oneself. I was always used to running at 100 mph, this experience has forced me to slow down and enjoy life’s special moments.
Being a single adoptive parent is more than just growing as a family. Ramos described how much both he and his son changed and let each other in. For those in the process of adopting here is some sound advice.
Know that it works best when you leave your personal agenda and timelines out the door. Know that its best, when it’s not about you. Be selfless, it’s okay to ask for help. it’s okay to be vulnerable and honest about what you feel, it’s okay to doubt yourself and parenting skills. You don’t have to always know what to do or how to do it, just don’t give up. Know that I’ve yet to meet anyone whose adoption plan and timelines worked out just as they had in mind. The best thing to do is, just go with it. It’s not about you, it’s about what you create together. Always, always look to take care of yourself, personal boundaries are very important. Don’t give up!
In Conclusion
In conclusion, we want to thank Ramos for sharing his experience with a single parent adoption. We wish you and your son so much love and health.
For those interested in learning more about adopting, check out our free adoption calculator HERE.
