Using Thoughtful Language in Foster Care

When referring to children in foster care, using other words for fostering can feel more personal and respectful. Language makes a difference, and words hold power. In the case of children in foster care, the wrong words can unintentionally cause harm. Using thoughtful language demonstrates that we view the whole person, not just their circumstances. That’s why how we talk about foster care matters just as much as what we do.

Avoiding Labels Like “Foster Child”

Using “foster child” may seem like a harmless description, but for the child, it can feel like a permanent label. It sets a tone for others as well, which puts their identity as a foster child first, instead of just a child, period. It defines them by their placement rather than who they are as a person. 

Instead, when referring to a child you are fostering you can use:

• Their name
• A preferred nickname
• “A child I am caring for”
• “My son/daughter/kid”
• “A child I am fostering”
• “A child that is staying with our family”
• “Our current placement”

Phrases like these shift the focus to the relationship, not the system.

You can introduce them in ways such as, “This is [Name], and they are staying with us for a while.” or simply, “This is my son, John,” etc.

But the best way to know what a child would like to be referred to during introductions? Ask them! It should always be what makes them the most comfortable. Some may not mind being called a foster child, but never assume. It’s always better to lead with respect and patience. 

Introducing Children with Care 

Introducing a child as your “foster child” may cause others to treat them differently. Even when people mean well, this label can make a child feel like they don’t truly belong.

Some kids have said it makes them feel singled out, or like they don’t fully belong. 

Instead, try saying, “This is someone I’m parenting,” or simply, “This is [Name],” without any qualifier. Other introductions you can use might be, “We’re caring for [Name] right now,” or, “They’re staying with us.” These options help children feel included, not categorized.

Using Other Words for Fostering

Use other words for fostering like “welcoming,” “caring for,” or “supporting” to reframe stereotypes during every day conversations. These phrases focus on the act of nurturing rather than the legal arrangement. 

Each of these terms focuses on love and action, not just the legal or temporary nature of the situation. These small shifts in vocabulary can create a more inclusive and empowering environment.

Final Thoughts

Words matter, and language shapes perception. By using thoughtful, people-first language, we can help children in foster care feel seen, valued, respected, and truly part of a family.

By avoiding labels and choosing compassion-centered words, we can reinforce the idea that every child belongs.