Why Families Choose Private Adoption

Private adoption is one of the most common ways families grow, especially for those who want to adopt a newborn. Unlike foster care adoption, which involves children who are in the state’s child welfare system, parents who choose private adoption usually arrange the adoption directly with birth parent(s), with the help of an agency or attorney.

What Is Private Adoption?

Private adoption happens when a birth mother voluntarily places her baby for adoption. Most often, this occurs at or shortly after birth. Families pursuing private adoption typically work with a licensed adoption agency, an adoption attorney, or an adoption law center. This process gives both the birth parent and adoptive family more say in the adoption plan.

In private adoption, adoptive parents can often choose whether they want an open, semi-open, or closed adoption. Many times, adoptive families are connected with expectant mothers during pregnancy, which allows for early relationship building.

Private vs. Public Adoption

When deciding on adoption, one of the first big choices is between private adoption and public adoption (aka foster care adoption). Each path is meaningful, but they differ in important ways:

• Public Adoption (Foster Care): Children in foster care are removed from their homes due to abuse, neglect, or unsafe conditions. Adopting from foster care usually involves older children, sibling groups, or children with special needs. The process is handled by state or county agencies, often at little or no cost. However, timelines can be unpredictable, and reunification with birth parents may be attempted before adoption is finalized.
• Private Adoption: This option usually involves adopting a newborn, with greater choice and involvement in the process. Families may be matched more quickly, but private adoption typically costs more ($40,000–$60,000 on average). The legal process is generally clearer because birth parents voluntarily choose adoption, and adoptive families have more control over preferences and timelines.

Why Do Families Choose Private Adoption?

There are several reasons families might pursue private adoption:

• Newborn Placement: Many adoptive parents want the opportunity to raise a child from birth.
• Choice and Control: Families can specify preferences and may build a relationship with the birth mother.
• Timelines: Depending on flexibility and exposure, matches can happen in 6–24 months.
• Openness Options: Birth parents and adoptive families can agree on how much contact to maintain.
• Legal Stability: Because private adoptions are voluntary, there is often less risk of the child being returned to biological parents after placement.

What States Permit Private Adoption?

Private adoption is available in every U.S. state, though specific laws vary. Some states require adoptive parents to work through a licensed agency, while others allow direct placements through attorneys. 

Most states permit private or independent adoptions, with safeguards like required home studies and legal counsel.

What Are the Key Steps in Private Adoption?

1. Matching – Prospective adoptive parents create profiles and may connect with birth parents through attorneys, facilitators, or informal networks.
2. Home Study and Legal Setup – Adoptive parents must complete a home study and work with an attorney to ensure the placement is legally sound.
3. Parental Consent and Waiting Period – Birth parents usually sign consent after the baby is born, often after a mandated waiting period to ensure the decision is clear and informed.
4. Finalization – A court validates the adoption, transferring legal rights from the birth parents to the adoptive parents.

Is Private Adoption Right for You?

Choosing between private and public adoption comes down to your family’s goals, resources, and comfort level. Private adoption is often the right path for those hoping to adopt a newborn, build a relationship with the birth family, and have more control over the process.

While private adoption offers choice and connection, it comes with trade-offs:

• Cost – Private adoption often costs between $30,000 and $60,000, depending on agency, legal, and birth parent support fees.
• Ethical Considerations – In some regions, private adoption has been criticized for potential exploitation of vulnerable birth parents, especially when incentives or pressure is involved.
• State-by-State Differences – Because laws vary widely, understanding your state’s specific requirements and restrictions is critical before proceeding.

Whether you choose private or public adoption, both are powerful ways to give a child a safe, loving home.